The World Cup has started and the rest of the world is already sick of us.
And like a lot of things that won’t go away, we’re going to rear our head once every four years and overdo it; like only Americans can. Head to your local soccer bar (currently every bar with a TV) like this and you’ll win no matter what happens. Which is good, because Americans hate losing (and we’re a longshot).
You don’t have to buy a full replica uniform to support, we shouldn’t overdo it in a way that’s already been done. The rest of the world has been putting on their full kit since 1930 and our overzealousness seems contrived; it’s hard to love something once every four years. But if we’re going to stare down our German, Portuguese, and Ghanaian rivals in the group let’s do it from the vantage point of pure class.
In this golden age of American men’s style we have all we need to outclass other fans all over the world, even if our national team didn’t exactly dress for the occasion. Keep your reds, whites, and blues, subtle and complimentary. Since red will be the stand out, use it as an accent color and build on the bases of your whites (cream in this case) and navy.
If we get out of the group stage or not, remember to keep it classy and look your best when cheering for the home team. And it should be everyone’s goal to start a “Go U-S Go U-S Go!” chant in the cadence of the ninja turtles theme, because only then will we truly be united.